For Fed Zanni, touring with the musical Jersey Boys across the UK, being constantly on the road, is not a sacrifice. It is a conscious, passionate choice. There is no precise word for it. Only a deliberate understanding of what this kind of work demands. And here, he lets that weight speak for itself.
The tour is mid-run. The cast have settled into their rhythm.
“I’m noticing a flow now that wasn’t there at the beginning. I think it must be a combination of me knowing the show better and better, and the harmony that we’ve all found as a cast. It feels like there’s no break now between our life on and off stage. The show is just a continuation of the energy we share outside the theatre.”
Bonds are formed during rehearsals and strengthened on the road. But there is a life beyond the stage and its contagious energy. In musical theatre, to be a cover is perhaps the most selfless discipline, because it requires total preparation for a character you may never have the privilege of playing. You memorise every word, every note for a debut reliant on fate. But what happens if you’re on the wrong side of fate?
It came when he was in the West End production of Arthur Miller’s A View from the Bridge at the Haymarket. He was understudy to Dominic West’s Eddie Carbone. That long-awaited moment never arrived. He did make it on though. Cover run. Not a consolation prize as 150 people attended. Fed was prepared either way. This is consistency. Discipline.
Reflecting on this particular experience, he recalls,
“For me it was a constant push and pull of ‘yes, let’s do this, I’m ready’ and ‘dear god, what am I going to do if I’m on tonight?’ You almost have to consciously jump from one to the other. Cover rehearsals stopped with a good chunk of performances still to go, so a lot of the work had to be done by ourselves, for ourselves. It pushed me to create structure when there was none. It’s good to know that you can do that, in any situation.”
The industry has its own specific guidelines and advice which appear at the outset, foolproof. Work hard. Stay focused. Be ready. Your moment will come. Fed believed in the dogma. Until he didn’t.
“I believed it fully when I started. Now not so much. Hard work and preparation certainly help, but I never fully understood how big a part luck plays in it. When it comes to external recognition, hard work beats talent, whatever that may be. But luck beats both.”
But in practice it’s not so easy.
“I wish I were able to go into every audition with a sense of ‘whatever the outcome, it was meant to be, ’ rather than ‘what do you mean I’m not right for the job?? You’re all wrong!’ But I still can’t, especially if I particularly love a show or a character. I feel I can only ‘trust the process’ retroactively, when I eventually get another job. Rejection would be much easier if I could find that trust to start with.”
This life is uncharted waters. He keeps pushing ahead. He finds a connection in Diana Nyad — the American swimmer who at 64 became the first to cross unaided from Cuba to Florida.
“When it comes to personal growth and your understanding of the world around you and yourself, hard work is still the key. It’s not about reaching your goal, it’s not even about the journey. It’s about the person you become through it. It’s just very hard to remember that.”
He has realised that mistakes on stage are not failures but lessons. If he cannot forgive himself, he cannot grow.
“I try to be as analytical as possible with regards to my performance, in terms of curiosity and accuracy. But freedom of exploration means that you can get things wrong. Maybe that’s the whole point. I’m learning how to let go of that and forgive myself more efficiently, otherwise I get stuck, especially in a show as quick as Jersey Boys, and I can’t be as open and receptive to my fellow actors. And that can be much more detrimental to the show than getting something wrong. Perhaps there’s a point where self-analysis becomes self-indulgence. I’m learning how to feel where that line is.”
He also writes. Currently he is working on two projects. For him, the page offers something the stage cannot provide alone.
“I feel like writing allows me to infuse the worlds I create with meaning, which is not something I can do as easily when it comes to the real world and also to the world of the characters I may experience as an actor. Perhaps acting gives me personal freedom up to a point, whereas the freedom I sometimes experience with writing is universal.”
For Fed, writing and acting complement one another. Complete expressions of the same creative drive.
However, touring is chosen, as he shares, and he fully embraces it. These brief interludes in different cities offer a particular kind of escapism. Occasionally they feel like home.
“I think it still feels like I’m suspended in a wonderful limbo. A couple of weeks ago we were in Llandudno and, because of the weather being cooler, the holiday vibe of the town and the fact that my beautiful digs smelled like cinnamon and spice, I felt like it was Christmas. When you love what you do as much as I do, the holiday is the work.”
He continues.
“It can still be tiring and draining. Even kids get tired and drained when they play all day. I’m trying to go back to London as much as possible in between venues, and that helps me remember that my personal life is not the same as my professional one. For me, that’s very important.”
It is a boundary he actively maintains.
Beyond the touring, beyond what this life exposes and demands, there is a far more definitive question that can only be answered personally: what would it look like if it were truly his to shape?
Fed and his wife Kat were walking past the Rose Theatre in Kingston when something on a poster stopped him.
“What struck me immediately was the fact that there was no mention of the actors appearing in it. Just the title. I thought it was quite refreshing, as nowadays it often feels like ‘who’ is more important than ‘what.’ That’s not to say seeing your name or picture on a poster is not thrilling. It definitely is. My massive ego loves that. But it was just nice to notice something different this time.”
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